0211

Just 1 more month to 3 years. I am so so so extremely thankful and grateful to have you/met you. We've gone through so much, I'm proud and glad to say that our relationship is still going strong! Without you we won't even make it this far. Whenever you're around everything seems better. I can't say enough how much joy and happiness you've brought me, how much I love you for who you are and that you accepted me for who I am. Everything about you is just so lovely and attractive I find it hard to not like it, even being mad at you is a challenge. I haven seen you for 2 weeks but I'm so glad and happy I get to hear your voice tonight. Hopefully I'll get to see you soon. You've no idea how much I miss you I think I almost died the first 4 days haha.

Happy monthsary cal <3

Day 6 w/o you:

I miss you so so so much, this 6 days felt like years. I haven been able to sleep for weeks, it's 6:26AM now and all I can think of is you and coffee. Now this annoying headache is back to hunt me, hopefully I'll be able to fall asleep before 7AM. Sigh..

Imy

Feeling extremely sad and shitting but don't worry my dear I won't break my promise. I'll take it as a long break from everything around. It's time I spend some alone time and get to know myself better. To get my mind off things I should have let go long ago but I couldn't because I care way too much. To learn to not let anything affect me and be happy because I don't live to please others.

To get the fact that nobody will always be there for me when I needed someone in my head. To realise that I'll never be that person they think I am/thought I was. To understand that everyone change and it's ok. To know that I already have all the important things/people in my life and I shouldn't ask for more but cherish all of that.

It's 3AM I should be asleep soundly like you but I can't as usual.. I never expected a heartache to hurt so bad. If only taking panadols help.. I'll get used to this, I know I will.

Foodporn

Because I'm feeling hungry and it's 4 in the morning. Feel my pain~

To my favorite boy:

It's 4 in the morning you should be sleeping really soundly right now. I still remember how peaceful and charming you look when you're asleep. Most of the time when I look at you I can't help but to feel super lucky and blessed to have you.

I get immaturely jealous of anyone who gets to see you on a daily basis. I miss you very very easily but I also like that we can be a p a r t and we're both ok. Space is good too sometimes. I love the way we love some of the things and how we love entirely different things. My head is a complicated pile of thoughts, fears, cravings, dreams, the past, the future and you.

I am human. I am flawed. I am broken. I am trying. I am learning. And I love you for your every strength and weakness. You make me feel warm and secure but most of all you bring me unlimited amount of happiness. To bring someone happiness in such a way is a very powerful thing I believe, because it can break a person completely. I trust and love you with my entire heart Cal. There's this special connection between us that nobody will ever understand. Thank you for always being a sweetheart, to tolerate all my nonsense, for being super patient with me when I'm at my lowest and for making me the happiest and luckiest girl in the universe <3

P/s: I hope you'll get well soon so I can bring you out to have some pizza!! =p

All I really am is a selfish bitch that deserve a slap hard on my face for not cherishing what I already have.

I'm not trying hard enough. I complain too much. Nothing goes right as long as it's linking to me. Life can never be as simple as I want it to be. I'm the worst and the last person anyone would want to meet. I'm a very complicated person and it's times like this i get lost in my own thoughts debating what's right and what's wrong.

I haven been sleeping and I've been thinking a lot. This strange feeling is back again I need a way out. How i wish you were here right now hugging me telling me everything is going to be ok as I break down. With you is the only time i feel safe and right but I know you can't always be here for me even if you want to. Nobody can.

I'm trying my best constantly to improve myself to deserve you but I feel like a total failure. I can never do anything right, the only thing i'm good at is screwing up every single thing I have on hand/come in-touch with. The negative is always louder than the positive in my head, always.

Happy Monthesary <3

We've been together for 2years and 9months, I'm so glad and proud that our relationship is still going strong! Ok all the things I wanna say is in the text I send you yesterday so go read it again haha. You're such a sweetheart, can't wait to see you when your exams are over!! I can only get to see you after 18 days or maybe even longer but good things are worth waiting for yes? :3

I love you Cal, always. All ways.

P/s: we need to start taking pictures tgt again you shy boy.