It's my off day today and weeks before today we planned to meet up to celebrate our monthsary.
I lied about me able to cope and make sure I'm strong enough not to let this love sick effect me but it's getting quite out of hand I feel so sick and unwell. Both physically and mentally. I'm constantly making jokes out of everything around me, making
everyone around me laugh just so I can laugh too but deep inside I'm still feeling like shit..
I don't know how I'm gonna make it through but I'll try. I know it's hard for you too as it is for me so I shouldn't whine and complain every chance I get. I just miss you so badly it's so painful. I feel like I'm being tore apart and I'm just hanging here on a thread waiting for the thread to break from my weight.
I feel so lost. Everyday when I wake up I tell myself it's gonna be a better day and I'm one day closer to see you again but my day always feels like forever. I promise you I'll take good care of myself so I did and I brought food to work everyday. Eating cold brownrice is not funny, I'm so sick of it already thinking of food makes me very sick now but I know I got to eat to survive. I must not break my promise to you.
I wonder what you're dreaming now you must be asleep. It's 1:16am, the 21st baby. Happy monthsary, 3 years & 3 months we've been through a lot together. I'm so lucky to have you, there's more to come and I'm looking forward to walk this path with you. It's you and me against the world cal and I love you <3 sleep tight xoxoxo
