To my favorite boy:

It's 4 in the morning you should be sleeping really soundly right now. I still remember how peaceful and charming you look when you're asleep. Most of the time when I look at you I can't help but to feel super lucky and blessed to have you.

I get immaturely jealous of anyone who gets to see you on a daily basis. I miss you very very easily but I also like that we can be a p a r t and we're both ok. Space is good too sometimes. I love the way we love some of the things and how we love entirely different things. My head is a complicated pile of thoughts, fears, cravings, dreams, the past, the future and you.

I am human. I am flawed. I am broken. I am trying. I am learning. And I love you for your every strength and weakness. You make me feel warm and secure but most of all you bring me unlimited amount of happiness. To bring someone happiness in such a way is a very powerful thing I believe, because it can break a person completely. I trust and love you with my entire heart Cal. There's this special connection between us that nobody will ever understand. Thank you for always being a sweetheart, to tolerate all my nonsense, for being super patient with me when I'm at my lowest and for making me the happiest and luckiest girl in the universe <3

P/s: I hope you'll get well soon so I can bring you out to have some pizza!! =p

All I really am is a selfish bitch that deserve a slap hard on my face for not cherishing what I already have.

I'm not trying hard enough. I complain too much. Nothing goes right as long as it's linking to me. Life can never be as simple as I want it to be. I'm the worst and the last person anyone would want to meet. I'm a very complicated person and it's times like this i get lost in my own thoughts debating what's right and what's wrong.

I haven been sleeping and I've been thinking a lot. This strange feeling is back again I need a way out. How i wish you were here right now hugging me telling me everything is going to be ok as I break down. With you is the only time i feel safe and right but I know you can't always be here for me even if you want to. Nobody can.

I'm trying my best constantly to improve myself to deserve you but I feel like a total failure. I can never do anything right, the only thing i'm good at is screwing up every single thing I have on hand/come in-touch with. The negative is always louder than the positive in my head, always.