Day 15 w/o you - 30/10/12

Went to work with the worst headache, bodyache and sore eyes.

Physically I'm sick buy mentally I'm alright, I really don't wanna get mc I just started work for a month if I take mc it's gonna show how weak I am.. Suck to be me. I miss Calvan I hope he's ippt went well today, so worried he's gonna stress himself out in camp )=

Tomorrow is pay day, which is now since it's already 12:35am. Can't wait to check my account in the morning later at work hehehe. So much work waiting for me to do I'm so excited and looking forward to keep myself busy later. Now just praying hard that my headache will be gone when I wake up later. Good night so sleepyyy..

CSKW WHERE ARE YOU )'=

Day 14 w/o you - 29/10/12

Work started at 11am, I spend my time slowly wiping every single mirror/glass in the shop, water the plants, singing and dancing along to the music. I bet the person in the office must be having a good laugh because I do quite a lot of stupid things when I'm alone..

I wonder if my boy is under the hot sun in his uniform and white shorts doing very tough physical training while I'm freezing in the shop staring into space most of the time. I started looking for things to do to keep myself busy, time pass faster this way and I would be able to let Cal take a good rest from running though my mind 24/7.

Started playing chess on the laptop until Mabel arrived. Time passed really fast today and I'm quite pleased and amazed, I was secretly hoping there will be a bunch of customers coming in to collect their shirts so I can start getting busy again but oh well better luck next time.

2 more days to pay day, oh boy I'm so so soooooo looking forward to it. Just keeping my fingers crossed that my commission will be in tgt with my basic pay this month, I won't make it with jut my basic pay because..heavily in.. debt. Feel so lousy and useless sigh. Just let me have a better sales tomorrow please, or a better day I'm working closing alone!

So grateful that I get such a great job, I like my job and feel very very lucky that I'm part of the company now. Really cherish this chance given to me, I really didn't thought they would hire me when I first went for the interview. Feel so thankful, especially people around me who showed support.

Special thanks to my dear boy who is always there for me, supporting me and believing in me!! I can't wait to see him on the weekend <3 good night~

Day 13 w/o you - 27/10/12

It's a Saturday which also means that it's my day off. A day for me to rest both physically and mentally.

Friday my boy got a day off from camp and because he needs to get his attire for camp he came over to visit me at work, I'm so glad I get to see him because I'm already going crazy knowing that he can't receive most of my text and that he hardly gets to use his cellphone. It was nice and that was the only time I wish that time will stop or pass slower because he's with me at work. Helping me to cut loose strings from the customers tailored shirts haha so adorable ^^

I feel so bad because I didn't realise he's not feeling well until he told me, good thing that he went to the doctor now I just hope he can recover asap. Ever since he went to camp he's been getting sick a lot more often than I do, I wish I was the one getting sick sigh. I can't imagine how hard it is gonna be for him to be training in camp and be sick at the same time. Heartache X 100

It's 1:17am now, happy Sunday everyone. Work later at 11am and here I am not asleep because as usual my mind doesn't seems to be tired.. I feel ill but I don't wanna take mc. Just 3 more days till I get my salary, I have survive!!

Sigh today will be a better day. Hopefully no more sore eyes, nose bleed and headache.. Urgh gd nite

Day 11 w/o you

It's a Thursday today, started work late and it's 3:11pm now and am already done w lunch. My stomach is not feeling so well though.. Feel extremely fat this few weeks sigh.

Woke up to Cal's text with a good news!! I can't get back to sleep after that, partly because I was too excited w joy and also because the drilling upstairs was way too loud and annoying. Still feeling very happy even though his good news is not comfirmed yet.

Now I'm at work waiting for time to fly by. Wearing heels one size bigger is not funny, I have to stuff newspaper inside it ): having small feet suck. Still waiting for lunch to digest so I can start eating mango I brought from home! Please let today be a wonderful working day pleaseeeee ~

I miss Calvan..

Day 9 w/o you

Good morning it's now 10:31am, I'm on my way to work. Feel very excited because today onwards every mon, wed, fri and Sunday I'll be working 11-830! Nothing beats going home early from work, I am so happy when my manager called last night to tell me the changes he made to our schedule.

Also another thing keeping me smiling all day yesterday was my handsome Saw called!!! I was jumping around in joy after we hung up haha I was too happy the feeling is overwhelming. I was smiling the whole time on the phone with him but i know he's tired and things over at his side is not 'alright' like he claim to be. I hope he won't be too hard on himself..

Having sore throat for junking out the last 2 days, eating toast for breakfast was a bad idea I think my throat just got worst. My headache and flu is getting worst. Guess there's a price to pay when you luck is getting better but it's all worth it.

I miss my boy everyday, so so much. And I feel so sad that he never recieved any of my text, stupid M1 sigh.. 2 more weeks till I get to hug you <3

Day 7 w/o you

I'm at work currently and it's finally 5pm. Have been busy cutting over 22 pieces of cloths since 1130am till 4pm. I'm just done eating my late lunch, cheap and tasty sweet potato my new favorite haha.

Received a text from my dear boy just 10 mins ago and oh boy I'm so happy!! I've been waiting very patiently for his text, I think my neck is about 10 inches long from all the waiting lol. Can't wait to see cal soon, by the time he is back I think he's hair would be longer? Can't decide if I like him w or w/o hair hahahha, he is borned with good looks hmm.

Tomorrow I can finally sleep in hehe, love it when I can sleep in but it would be great if I'm in Cal's arms asleep. That would be perfect. I hope he's really doing fine in camp as he claimed to be, I don't want him come back looking smaller than I am haha that's not good. Oh boy I miss him so much why is time passing so slow today I need 930 to here already sigh.

I am so whiny, almost every customers commented about my height btw and I feel like I'm famous lol. Quite. Never see short people before meh so amazed for what, make all your shirts 2X bigger than you all know. I'm like a free entertainer at work, I must be very funny. Yes? I agreed.

Calvan Saw please stay healthy and safe please please please I miss you too much and I'm freezing at work )':

Mondays Suck.

Day 5 w/o you <3

It's my off day today and weeks before today we planned to meet up to celebrate our monthsary.

I lied about me able to cope and make sure I'm strong enough not to let this love sick effect me but it's getting quite out of hand I feel so sick and unwell. Both physically and mentally. I'm constantly making jokes out of everything around me, making
everyone around me laugh just so I can laugh too but deep inside I'm still feeling like shit..

I don't know how I'm gonna make it through but I'll try. I know it's hard for you too as it is for me so I shouldn't whine and complain every chance I get. I just miss you so badly it's so painful. I feel like I'm being tore apart and I'm just hanging here on a thread waiting for the thread to break from my weight.

I feel so lost. Everyday when I wake up I tell myself it's gonna be a better day and I'm one day closer to see you again but my day always feels like forever. I promise you I'll take good care of myself so I did and I brought food to work everyday. Eating cold brownrice is not funny, I'm so sick of it already thinking of food makes me very sick now but I know I got to eat to survive. I must not break my promise to you.

I wonder what you're dreaming now you must be asleep. It's 1:16am, the 21st baby. Happy monthsary, 3 years & 3 months we've been through a lot together. I'm so lucky to have you, there's more to come and I'm looking forward to walk this path with you. It's you and me against the world cal and I love you <3 sleep tight xoxoxo

Day 3 w/o you

Feeling really tired yet excited when I woke up in the morning, tired because yesterday was a very busy day at work so we ended late and I slept at 1am haha.

Today will be another busy day at work, have a lot to be done which is why I'm excited. I need time to pass by faster, I need lots of work to do I need to keep myself busy. I need to be too busy to think of cal, I need more work to do so I will stop counting the amount of days left to see him.. Painful but worth it.

I feel like my body is breaking apart but I believe I'm stronger than this. Falling I'll in the first month of work just shows how weak I actually am. I think my headache decided to stay and he invited flu along so ya I guess they're staying long term.

2 more days and I'll be able to rest, 12 more days to pay day and 17 more days till you're back. I sound like a girl with no life but that's because Cal's away. I hope he still gets his ice cream every Tuesday in camp haha, ice cream is the cure for sadness and loneliness.

Isit normal to feel heartbroken when your love ones are away? The feeling when you feel your heart is being crashed and that you can hardly breath. Your chest hurts so badly it almost feels like you're getting a heartattack, you blank out when you're alone, you smile to yourself when thinking of the memories you both had and then you feel empty throughout the day. Everyday is a cycle, a struggle, a day closer to you..

Today will be a better day Eunice.

Day 2 w/o you

I received a text this morning and I ran over feeling excited thinking it was Cal until I saw 'M1'. I know he won't be able to use his phone so what am I hoping for? Sigh I'm just giving myself more heartache than I already have..

Yesterday I spend my day at work spacing out a lot, managed to distract myself with the food my colleuages and I brought for work and had a little potluck going on in the shop.

Then I suddenly remember the time when cal make me scramble eggs for dinner.. It's like he's everywhere, even going to the toilet makes me think of him. This is harder than I expect it to be, 3 weeks urgh it's almost 1 month.. Ok I can do this I need to learn to not depend on him so much.

Today I brought rice and scramble eggs w ham to work for brunch & dinner. When you're broke it's no longer funny. Did I mention I made a very good friend at work? No? Ok I just did haha. Working with her makes me look forward to work, her name is Mabel btw. She's too funny and blur, not those bitchy kind so ya I am grateful for her to be my colleuage.

I'm now on the train heading to orchard back to fn to settle my giftcard, this is a chore I'm so not willing to go back there. I just don't like it there and being back there makes me feel very insecure somehow. Just gonna get this over and done with for now. It's 10:23am I'm planning to be late for work because I'm always way too early. I deserve this hahaha ok jokes.
Today will be a good day. I hope.

P.s - I miss you so much )'=

Tomorrow is Day 1 ):

It's the day of the week when you pack everything and prepare yourself for camp. Everytime when this 'last day' of your bookout/freedom arrives I've the urge to cab over to your place and kidnap you and just pour super glue all over me and hug you so you can't leave. But I know you have to so I wish that you'll stay healthy and be back safe !

I'd tell myself it's just 3 weeks no big deal but the fact that you might not even get to use your phone makes me very worried. What if they don't feed you enough ? What if your knee starts to ache again ?? What if your rashes decided to come back and visit you ?! Ok I'm thinking too much but I just can't stop myself from thinking all the 'what if'..

Right now I'm at work with the most horrible headache and eating sour plumb. It's freezing in here and I'm falling asleep. It's 5:31pm I can't wait for 9 to come so I can start packing. Left w $7.20 for to survive the next $12 days good luck Eunice..

I find it so hard to distract myself from thinking of you. All the fun times and heart2heart talks we have, the way you hold my hand and look at me, how happy you look while messing up my hair and how incredible you smell all the freaking time. I'm going to miss you so bad that when someone walk pass me he'll will start cutting his wrist.

Now I'm looking forward to see you and then we can go shopping (hehe) together ! My life is never gonna be complete without you, I think that's what it reflect from my blog and it's a fact. I'm so sleepy oh god where is hero Saw I could really use a hug right now ~

For my one and only <3

You're always leaving, i'm always waiting, we're always apart but both our hearts stay and nothing have change. Infact our relationship grew stronger and deeper each day. It's no longer just you and me it's 'we', I believe we can make through this.

3 weeks seems short but it's a bloody long time to me. I'll miss you extremely badly and I know you would feel the same too. This heartache is not the best feeling but I know it shows how important you are to me and that's the msg I want it to get across to you when I said 'My heart is aching'.

Life without you is a nightmare but I'll cherish everyday single day, work hard at work and look forward to you back to my side. If you're reading this my dear remember don't ever doubt yourself or your ability to do anything. Have more faith in yourself just like you have it in us. There is nothing in the world you can't do, just do your best and whatever it is I'm still going to be very proud of you.

This is hard for the both of us but at the end of the day our plan will work out just fine and eventually everything will fall into place. All this will be worth it so don't give up alright ? Hang in there baby we're almost there, as each day passes by we're nearer to our goals. I hope you're feeling better and your rashes to be gone by now.

Good night my dear cal <3 xoxoxo